I am so excited to be participating in the 4th Annual Let's Not Be Still! Pregnancy & Infant Loss Run/Walk.  Money raised from this event will be used to increase awareness, support research, promote education, and encourage advocacy and family support regarding stillbirth. So someday No family will have to experience this type of loss as we did September 2014!

 

We were so excited when we found out we were pregnant with Adyson in February of 2016. Being a type 1 diabetic I was very closely monitored. I was seeing my regular OB/GYN every other week, Seeing a High Risk OB/GYN who followed her growth and development once a month. I also had Non-Stress Tests twice a week starting after 30 weeks. Everything seemed to be going wonderfully! She had caught up on her growth since our 20 week ultrasound, she was Rocking her NSTs and everything was looking Great with a planned induction at 39 weeks!

 

I had gone home from Fargo to Fridley to my parents house for the weekend for Adyson's Baby shower on Saturday and the Vikings Patriots game on Sunday. We had a Super fun shower where Adyson received tons of amazing clothes, toys and other necessities. Sunday we went to the Patriots Vikings game and had a great time and so did she! Kicking and moving like crazy like she always did. We drove back to our home in Fargo that night. When we got home I just felt a bit off and just went to bed.

 

When I woke up Monday morning, I was still feeling pretty terrible. I called my OB/GYN who told me to try a warm bath, drink plenty of water and to call back if I still wasn't feeling well. I ended up going into the Mother Baby unit at the hospital. They brought us back to a room and had me put a gown on. The nurse then attempted to hook me up to the fetal monitor, where she couldn't find Adyson's heart beat. She went and got the doctor who said "that's fine we'll just find her on ultrasound" 

 

She put the jelly on my belly and Adyson appeared on the screen. But I could tell something was wrong her little heart was not fluttering as it had on every ultrasound that we had had up to this point and before the doctor could tell us that we had lost Adyson I knew. When those words "I'm so sorry but your baby is gone" left the doctors mouth I lost it! threw everything off and tried to leave but my legs just gave out and my Husband Michael caught me and consoled me in the corner.

 

At 34 weeks pregnant Adyson was gone. I was a wreck, they brought me to a room and started an IV for plans to induce me.  After 2 and a half days of a painfully long labor our precious Angel was born on September 18th, 2014 at 7:30 am 19 3/4 inches long and 5 lbs 12 oz and perfect as ever! She had 10 little toes and 10 little fingers, beautiful brown hair and chubby cheeks. How could this have happened? She looked perfect as if she were just in a peaceful sleep.

 

Over the next 2 1/2 days we had her baptized in the hospital, had pictures taken by Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep and our family and friends who came out to meet her showered her with a lifetime of love! We were made molds of her hands and feet, given a lock of her hair, and a box with gifts from other families who had experienced the loss of a baby and some support information. We were given the option of an autopsy thankfully covered by the hospital along with placenta pathology to try and solve the mystery of how this tragedy occurred.

 

Over the next few weeks I was a wreck wondering what could have been and what I could have and should have done to prevent this from happening. Being a respiratory therapist who worked at Children's hospital where we save babies born at her gestation with ease, I was infuriated that this had happened. I went through a lot of depression and not wanting to do anything.  We found the compassionate friends support group for those who had lost their children at any age and found a lot of support and compassion from them. 

 

We had to endure going back into the OB/GYN for a postpardum 6 week check up and see all the women who still had a hope for a baby and all of ours had just been shattered. It was so difficult hearing of other people welcoming their children into the world and making memories watching them grow, things we would never get to experience with Adyson. The autopsy and placental pathology all came back normal and they had no reason for what happened to our innocent baby girl except that it was a "cord accident." Although this was in a way good news but in a way in made me think I should have known something was wrong before it was too late. 

 

We had Adyson Cremated and we went to the Grand Canyon and spread her ashes. Which was an Amazing experience. We also had a brick placed at the Angel of Hope Stature in Fargo in memory of Adyson. We celebrate her and try to honor her everyday of our lives and we will love her Always and will never forget how she touched our lives for the better.

 

Until we can hold you in Heaven we will hold you in our Hearts!